AUSTRIA-GERMANY!

12^th Stop: Vienna, Austria; Augsburg (near Munich), Germany

Vienna, Austria

A short stop for 5 hours in Vienna, Austria, I traveled from Brno, Czech  in the morning (2 hour train ride). I don’t think I have that much to say about the city since I was only there for a few hours. It is definitely a very rich city, with endless and I mean endless museums, and men dressed like Mozart. The city just isn’t much my type I would say and I saw a postcard which was quite hilarious, “I spent so much money in Vienna, that I got you half a postcard.” The postcard was half-blank. I on the other hand, spent nothing, I had some bread from the other day which I ate with some cream cheese-how delicious! I really wanted to try a Weiner Schnitzel of Vienna, breaded chicken burger, but I sacrificed since I wanted to finish the bread that was leftover. Next year when I come back to Europe, I’ll definitely pass by another city in Austria, more for the nature, mountains and PEOPLE.

Augsburg, Germany

After a few hours, I was off again this time to Augsburg for a week, city close to Munich, to another community like Loppiano (1) called “Ottmaring.” They were offering a children’s program to the local town and I thought to go. 

Obviously I was not to participate, but to help, to give my time, share my talents, and LOVE. Sounds ironic because those who know me, know how much I LOVE kids. Not really much because you need a LOT of patience-A LOT. KIDS are definitely my weakness, in a literal sense, and patience on the other hand, is the greatest of all my weaknesses. Patience is a virtue, and I definitely learned to have it.

Let me share an experience...

So first off, I don’t speak any Germany, NA-DA, and the kids all speak GERMAN. That is definitely a weakness, but words have no meaning, without actions, so since I couldn’t speak, I tried to “ACT.” In the tiniest ways, I tried to help them hold their belongings, bring them their snacks, play their games, sing their songs , laugh at their jokes, and listen to their stories (without understanding anything), and just BE like one of them.

“To place myself in their shoes, and treat them like they want to be treated, and not how I want to treat them.” Big difference there. Not the “ME, or the I,” but “THEM, the OTHER.”

In particular, on the 2^nd and 3^rd day I stayed with a 13 year-old girl named Marie who has down syndrome. This is where my experience of patience begins. She was participating in all the activities with such enthusiasm, and joy; she always smiled, always laughed, and always talked. She definitely brought back the memory of Annie (2) as she expressed such a care-free attitude- not worrying about little things. When she saw a wall full of crawling ants, there was not a drop of disgust, or flicker of fear.

me and Marie

In the afternoon, she started to get tired and wanted to do her own thing. She started with running around, searching for different toys to play with, and ended up going into a cabin house. I was chasing her, trying to play along and trying to get her back into the activities with my group of 5 children. However, she had another agenda. I patiently waited and waited and waited, and... WAITED more to see what she wanted to do. She finally settled playing in the sandbox, happily digging away and building with her imagination. At first, I was just watching her and waiting patiently in hope that she would want to come back with the group. I asked and asked many times, but stopped myself to place myself in her shoes. She is tired and wants to play with the sand. 

How would she want to be treated in this moment?

Noemi and Marie

So I started to play her game, dig away at the sand, and listen to her speak endlessly about something I didn’t understand at all. After a good hour, I finally was able to persuade her to join the group once again. No more words to describe the patience it took to be with her, to understand her, to wait for her, to play along, and to place “myself in her shoes.”

Not only did I learn to have patience and to be handicapped in speaking, but understood and lived these words I wrote...

To be weak means strength because one bares truth.

Words hold this 

“truth” only once spoken by 

ACTION.

(Augsburg) me and the girls helping with the children's program

JUMP! Life is what you make of it.

(1) Loppiano: place where I stayed 9 months in Italy to live with people from around the world to learn about other cultures, religions, backgrounds, and more so learning about myself. 

(2) Annie: my friend-more like a sister, whom I helped for a year who is handicapped.

CZECH REPUBLIC!

11^th Stop: Prague, Brno, Czech Republic

from the top of the castle

In the beginning of my journey, I wasn’t even planning on going to Prague, but since I had some extra time and my eurail pass allowed for it, I went. In one day, from Paderborn, to Berlin 5 hours, toured around, took some pictures, stood in the midst of one of the most important cities during the World Wars, then to Prague another 5 hours, I arrived at night. Sat on the train with 2 French boys and a girl from Czech in one cabin, we shared with one another a little bit of our own culture. The girl from Czech was telling me how the people of Czech really care about the appearance of the city. So the next morning, with enough light of the day, my eyes were amazed at how her words held truth- the buildings, the architecture, the churches, the castle are all so beautiful. Even its name Prague sounds prestigious.

me and Maruska (Prague)

But like always, those buildings will remain, maybe change their colour, but it’s always the people I love to encounter. I toured around Prague with a local, a girl also from the Focolare Movement (2), who knew many people I knew back at Loppiano (1) how the world is so small, and being connected by 6 steps is so very true. So speaking of Loppiano, I also visited another one of these communities but in Czech Republic.

Although I had traveled so many hours the day before, my feet were sore, my throat was acting strange, but my heart was ready. Ready to help others, share with others, serve others, and most of all LOVE others -a group of handicapped adults from Italy who were staying at the community for a few days. And again my Italian really helped as I imitated their Italian accent and pretended I’ve learned Italian for years. As soon as I saw them, I greeted them like I would to anybody, but with extra attention to speaking clearly so that they would understand. This is definitely something I learned from being with Annie, my friend-more like a sister, whom I helped and is also handicapped. Even though they are physically or mentally disabled, they want to be treated just like US, just like anybody else. But it is so easy to distinguish them, to outcast them in society, just because they may do things slightly slower with more difficulty, or process thoughts and ideas a little longer. As I was serving them drinks, or giving them napkins, or washing the dishes for them, I admired how much strength they had to give always this joy of being grateful for what they have even through their difficulty. I guess everyone has a difficulty, a struggle, an obstacle, a suffering, but...

NOI (Italian), US

it makes us grow, 

makes us STRONGER, 

makes us become

who we are.

That depends on US, 

whether  we desire to embrace our weaknesses, to change despite the lack of security and to overcome the fear of past failures.

These individuals, handicapped of their ability to think, to speak, to do, to walk, to eat and all the “normalities” that we take for granted are witnesses.

Examples of where true strength lies because...

To be weak means strength because one bares truth.

SO BE WEAK.

What do you seek?

In Truth we SEEK.

at Brno (2nd largest city in Czech)



(1) Loppiano: place where I stayed 9 months taking a year off of school in Italy to live with people from around the world to learn about other cultures, religions, backgrounds, and more so learning about myself.

(2) Focolare Movement: an international movement present in 182 nations aiming towards an universal brotherhood and fraternity through the way of “Love” and putting the words of the Gospel into practice.

GERMANY!

10^th Stop: Paderborn, Berlin, Germany

After hours on the train from Belgium to the Northeast part of Germany Paderborn, changing a few trains, one being delayed, and had to rearrange trains, I was really on an adventure. Later, met a girl from Greece, who I got a free cab-ride with to her hotel then walked, but got lost near midnight in a deserted city, Paderborn, I finally arrived tired but joyful to see my friend at last! In my last blog, I wrote myself this quote...

To Die is to Live. 

To Live is to Love. 

To Love is to be Nothing. 

To be Nothing is Everything.

Obviously this phrase that I just wrote down sums up how I try to practice each and every day with each person in each moment-much easier said than DONE. I would say it is definitely easier with strangers, and the hardest with the ones closest, the ones that we know will always be there for us, will love us no matter what. That would be our family. Some define family as blood-related or whom is living under the household. However, my definition is slightly different.  I define “Family” as who I can have mutual love with, who I can treat as a brother or sister, who is part of my home that has no barriers or limits.

Shatha (Jordan) and I

So to love the ones closest is definitely the most challenging, takes the most energy, and sometimes results in failure. Failure indeed is what happened when I visited a friend from Germany. We were both deciding on where to go, how to get there, and what to do. However we had both, two different perspectives, she wanted one way and I wanted the other. In the beginning, I was very patient and accepting of her ideas, as I listened to her opinion and thoughts. However, in a human sense, I just couldn’t “die” completely to my way of doing. At certain moments, we got frustrated and agitated with one another, and there was tension between us. In my heart, I didn’t feel at peace and knew speaking more wouldn’t solve anything.

When words fail, 

                actions SPEAK.

So after apologizing to one another, I tried to move forward. Later on when she wanted to take an evening walk outside, however my stomach had a massive cramp and would have preferred to go home, I went with her. I tried to completely forget and “ to Die” to  myself, being selfLESS, to show a small act to LOVE her. Also when she wanted to meet someone, but didn’t have enough courage to, I went with her to give her confidence. With these small acts of GREAT LOVE, I felt again at peace in my heart because I had become totally Nothing, selfLESS, died totally to MY idea, MY way, and MY thoughts, but to only do FOR the OTHER. At the end, my heart was full, filled with happiness, filled with joy, and filled of EVERYTHING.

As this experience shows how really “living” these words ain’t easy.

To Die is to Live.

 To Live is to Love. 

To Love is to be Nothing. 

To be Nothing is Everything.

let's move FORWARD. not backwards

I failed, We fail, but it’s only important to move forward, to re-start again, because if you aren’t going forward, you are going backwards because time keeps ticking.

Re-starting isn’t later, isn’t tomorrow, isn’t when the other person does the same,

 it starts with...

YOU.

NOW!

in Berlin

So re-start?

BELGIUM!

9^th Stop: Brussels, Brugg, Belgium; Lille, France

Annemarie and Me

Do Brussel sprouts come from Brussels? I wonder...but anyhow I arrived after an amazing day in Amsterdam to the capital of Europe-Brussels. As I had mentioned that initially I didn’t have a place to stay in Brussels, but a lady named Annemarie at the Mariapolis (while I was in Luxembourg) offered me a place to stay at her home. I eventually found my way during the calm and silent streets of Brussels without a flicker of fear because I knew I would found my way. They welcomed me with such warmth and love that I felt right away at home, sipping a cup of orange juice as I rested my feet after hours in the sun walking endlessly carrying a 30 lb backpack.

The next day I was off to Brussels on a citybike with Annemarie and her husband Gilles. As we rode into the city centre, Brussels was empty, a few business people, hardly any tourists, as many were off to catch some sun as Brussels wavered at 16 degrees with cloudy skies. As we passed many stores, half of them closed, one caught my eye. I’ve been taking pictures of words or phrases that make me think. This one was “The art of living.” I had read a quote the day after on my friend’s facebook reading...

“To know how to die is to know how to live.”

So I thought of this: The art of dying is at the very core of the art of living.

TO DIE is TO LIVE.

Such a paradox, so opposite, yet so intertwined.

How can you know how to die and know how to live?

Let me share an experience...

Gilles, Grandmother, Me

That day at Brussels, we stopped at a nursing home to visit Gilles’ mother, an 87 year old woman. When you first enter into a nursing home, the scent of cleaning products, mixed with body odours, and other unpleasant smells gives a great impression. In my heart I was so excited to meet this woman. As I entered into her room, she lay silently on her bed. As I greeted her with the touch of her hand, I felt immediately welcomed as she expressed her joy by the simplicity of a smile. She barely spoke any English so I only could communicate without words. As I held her hand, she placed both of hers around mine and gently tapping up and down continuously. I said nothing, but continued to warm her hands and looked deeply into her eyes. 

Many say that your eyes are the entrance of your soul, and so I allowed my eyes to stay focused on hers. In the deepest part of my heart, she brought the memory of my grandmother right before me. I wanted to treat and care for her like I do to my own, to give the love I have for my grandmother to her. But at the same time, I didn’t dwell on the memory of my grandmother, but saw the “grandmother” right before me. In her eyes, I understood she was treating me like one of her own, her own grandchild. Even though we weren’t family by blood, in the end we had become FAMILY.

I had experienced the “art of dying,” or in Buddhism, “sacrifice,” or in Christianity “giving one’s life,” or in Sikhism “Sewa: self-lessness or in Agnosticism or Atheism “detachment,” or in Islam “losing one’s life,” or in Hinduism “being of nothing.” I observed the art of dying is present in all beliefs, but expressed in different ways. All different ways, but at the same time trying to practice the same idea-the art of living. 

In each moment of that eternal hour, “my grandmother” was giving all that she could, her whole life that existed within the eyes of her soul and giving her nothingness to just concentrate on each glance I made. I had sacrificed all that I wanted to do for that hour and detached myself of the memory of my own grandmother to care for the one infront of me. Nothing mattered more in those moments for me than to give Everything- my concern, attention, and LOVE for her. This was my experience of knowing how to die which gives way to know how to live.

“to be Nothing is Everything.”

To die in all my OWN preoccupations, OWN thoughts, OWN memories, OWN desires, but to live for the OTHER, for the person infront of me. This is what I mean by the art of dying is at the very core of the art of living. She helped me understand.

After visiting also her son in Lille, France the next day and her extended family in Brugg, Belgium the day after, I got a glimpse of her life. I flipped through pictures in albums of weddings, family gatherings, and all the rest. When I first saw pictures of her as she was young, she was beautiful and gorgeous with a perfect smile. Now her beauty lies not in the exterior, but the LOVE held WITHIN, the person she has become.

This love that radiates from inside  is what’s left, what remains, what lasts, what continues on, what gives to the OTHER. All else fades, disappears, is forgotten, and dies, if there’s no LOVE that remains.

If we fill ourselves with all the things of the world materialism, consumerism, capitalism, egoism; they will give temporary life, temporary satisfaction, temporary happiness. This temporariness is when we find outlets of happiness-drugs and alcohol abuse/overdose, or having excess goods-clothes, electronics, cars, things etc., or concentrating only on profits and not people and the environment, putting ME first before OTHERS. To be SELFISH and not SELF-LESS. Sounds like the everyday media, news, society doesn’t it?

But Life is meant to be greater, to be lived for something GREATER, to give an eternal joy and an eternal happiness. So all the things of LOVE, with LOVE, done for LOVE, gives LIFE. This love lasts not temporarily but for eternity, this love marks, leaves an imprint on the OTHER’s heart. 

What imprint do you want to leave?

To DIE is to LIVE. To Live is to Love. To Love is to be Nothing. To be Nothing is Everything. 

I want to die to everything to live to be nothing.

Freedom.

Mark, Yolanda, Me
we went out to experience the nightlife in Brussels...
you wouldn't guess how old they were?

making Belgium waffles