adesso, il mio italiano e meglio, pero faccio tanto sbagli. provo sempre parlare in italiano, e un po strano quando parlo inglese perche io ho comminciato pensare in italiano! Ma adesso quando scrivo in italiano, e difficile!!!
Il weekend scorso, Geppina e venuta con noi. Propio BELLISIMO. Basta italiano.
hahah....slowly slowly I almost understand everything now and I speak italian probably 90% of the time :)
Everyday I'm reminded of how fortunate I am here. Everyone keeps reminding me to treasure each moment I have here because this experience is one that will imprint my heart, soul and mind.
To describe the place where I am in one sentence: I feel as if I'm in heaven on earth. Why?
because I live with almost 50 girls from around the world, we all come from different backgrounds, cultures, and we are so different. But we only try to love one another as we would want to be loved. Where there is love... heaven on earth is possible.
But obviously I have written before already in my previous experiences, I failed many times to love, but what is important and beautiful is the chance to start again. And I would have to say the person I fail most with is my lovely BROTHER. It's definitely different to see my brother go to university and not being home to always check up on him and of course boss him around sometimes? I've been able to talk to him once in a while to ask him about his school, and life of course. But it's really difficult to see him grow up and I'm not physically there to help him when he's in need. Especially when the way he does things and the choices he makes is not the way I would act in the same situation. And obviously being the sister I am, every time I talk to him I want to just lecture and lecture him; it's more like advise him but you know?
And a few days I talked to him again and likewise he said something to me that really hurt me to point that I seriously had tears in my eyes, it wasn't something that was directed towards me, but it just showed the way he prioritizes his life is very different from mine. But through this Jesus Forsaken (suffering) in my heart, I embraced it right away, and with joy. I knew that I can always advise him and try to see his life through my own eyes, but this time I wanted to love him for the person he is, and the way he wants to be loved, not the way I want to love him. Something so simple, yet so hard to do.
Even though I love him so much, so much; I need to let him be free to make his own choices, prioritize his own life, and let him be. I said to him, "Sometimes I don't understand you, and you probably don't understand me, but I am seriously happy for you as long as you are happy too." It took me probably 20 years of life to come to this point. Only reason: I LOVE my brother, don't know how to express it more, but I love him so much I want to let him be free. Usually, I would have felt really down, but this time I loved him in the way he wants to be loved (that is to let him be free), I felt a supernatural peace and joy in my heart. The joy that is only born in suffering as I had mentioned before in my past experiences of Jesus Forsaken (suffering). Can that be the secret to life?
Credo di si (I think so).
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